I have been trying to learn Spanish for years and still not brilliant at it. I went into a Spanish bar and watched an English woman trying to order a cup of English tea, but what they brought her was tea with hot milk in it – frustratedly thinking that if she asked louder they would understand. I was able to help her out but when I asked if she was on holiday, she replied “Ive lived here 10 years” What a great metaphor for people who expect everyone to understand their emotional language and get upset when they don’t.

My Spanish at best is that I have to think in English first about what I want to say and then translate what it means into Spanish and then make my request. People who have feelings that they do not understand and have to try and interpret the meaning and get very confused in the process, scared that they won’t be understood.

If I was to live in Spain for some considerable time I would begin to think in Spanish, live openly without fear of being misunderstood, not having to work out what this means. All feelings are healthy, good and normal to feel but we need to become fluent, congruent self aware people to find our centre and know we are ok to walk into our metaphorical Spanish bar with confidence. Person Centred talking therapy will help you become fluent in your language.

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